When I found yoga I was a freshman at Pace University. I was (and still am) an extremely anxious person. I latched onto yoga because of the mindful benefits I was getting from it. Not only is it great exercise but it was also teaching me how to breathe mindfully and intentionally. I absolutely hate exercise and going to the gym, I’ve also never been a dancer so moving my body in those different ways feels so empowering! As an actor, a note I would always get was…BREATHE! So as I began my yoga journey I realized that doing this practice was helping me to breathe more onstage which, in turn, made for more truthful work. Since I was never a dancer I always felt insecure about my body and I felt like I was at a disadvantage. “Oh I’m not flexible, I’m not strong, I have such weak arms, I have no upper body strength, I don’t know how to connect my body to the character” were some of the things I would say with my self deprecating humor voice.
When I found yoga I couldn’t touch my toes in forward fold. Now, I can put my hands al the way under my feet. When I find new poses or inversions to try I remove any attachment to whether or not I can get it on the first try. I always remind myself of baby yogi Remi who couldn’t touch her toes. She kept going, did it every week and then a few months later it happened. I find the teachings of yoga extremely powerful because they essentially lead us to “enlightenment.” We become human beings with no attachment to anything or anyone and live solely through “God,” or, the “universe,” selflessly.
While it’s complicated to remove attachment from important things such as family, friends, etc. there is a deep strength to realizing that the results of the audition I just went on do not have anything to do with who I truly am. That if I don’t book that role, it wasn’t a part of my dharma, or my path. If I detach myself from the little things, it makes life less painful and embarrassing. Truly living an “I don’t give a f*ck” kind of life, but in a mindful and compassionate way!
One of my favorite quotes from a good translation of the Bhagavad Gita says, “That which changes with time cannot be considered eternal and is not the ultimate reality because the ultimate reality is neither temporary, nor does it change with time, it is indestructible. This is the conclusion that the seers of truth have arrived at after having deliberated on both aspects.” (ch. 2-16, Bhagavad Gita, Srinivas Fine Arts) I believe this quote is saying that what we think is reality is not reality because it’s constantly changing and it is not going to last forever. Our lives are destructible. They could all end at the drop of a hat, anything could happen. When we reach the doors to our death, however, there is no need to fear because that is the ultimate reality. Death is eternal and never changes.
Yoga has brought me so much joy and knowledge about myself as an actor and mostly, myself as a person. When I practice yoga I am strong, empowered, mindful, intentional, compassionate, loving and present. Yoga teaches me to live in the now, moment to moment, as if the next moment will never come.